Back to the foyer

Commonplace Book

prayers, poems, and prose

My Background

I was raised Catholic; baptised & confirmed. I also have OCD, which has made me struggle with "scrupulosity" obsessions - that is, worrying too much about my own moral value, or feeling unworthy of the God I was taught about. A friend in high school got interested in Wicca and invited me to a Full Moon picnic in her backyard. At the time it honestly really freaked me out. I didn't know a thing about it and I was terrified that we were doing something wrong. But at the same time, it felt like the most comforting, exciting, and natural thing to do in the world: sitting outside, drinking tea, looking at pretty rocks, and celebrating the beautiful moon. I began to question why anything about this could be in conflict with my Catholic upbringing - didn't God create the world? The moon? The pretty rocks? Isn't a celebration of the natural world inherently a celebration of God? CONNECTING with God? I knew I felt a pull, but was still scared by own scrupulous worries (honestly, I still struggle with this from time to time, but research is always key!). After years of reading, parsing, questioning, and experimenting, I discovered Folk Catholicism and Christian Witchcraft, alternative paths to the same God of my childhood that satisfied the naturalistic urge I felt. I learned that what I really wanted was a more mystical path, an aspect that has always been present in Christianity (and especially Catholicism) that has been sanitized and removed in recent history. I learned about St. Francis of Assisi and St. Hildegard Von Bingen, canonized saints who believed that nature can bring us closer to God, that we as humans are family with the animals, plants, and stones. My current spiritual practice is a big mix of what resonates with me, and I am continually tweaking and adjusting my practices. This site is a compilation of research, writings, and resources that have helped me along the way. I must say, though, that I am by no means an expert, and I could very well be wrong about many things. I encourage you to do your own research and find what makes sense to you.

About

But really, what is this site?
This site is based on a vivid dream I had of a tiny, cozy church nestled in the warm soil and roots of a big, mossy tree.
Natural water flowed down rock walls and pooled in bowls formed from exposed roots; Holy Water fonts. The hallways were bare dirt tunnels, narrow but comfortable, at once homey and full of adventure. It felt like a place I would be exicted to visit, where I would feel completely at ease to be as I am and to connect with the Divine. This is how I view my spirituality, somewhere between the structure I've been taught and the instincts that come naturally. Otherworldly but grounded. Holy and mundane. Adventurous and comforting.

So... is this a witch thing or a Christian thing?

It depends on what you mean by those words. The biggest issue with this path is the inadequacy of words. We see it in how the Bible is mistranslated and used for harm, we see it in how nuance fails to exist in our conversations, and we see it all over the Internet. Let me be clear: I am a leftist, pro-LGBTQ+, pro-choice, feminist, anti-capitalist artist. I also believe in God! I believe that God is beyond words. I believe that we call God many different names but we are all accessing the same Force. I believe that it is basically up to you what name you use, and I have to believe that God would want you to use whatever name makes you comfortable enough to form a connection. For me, the vocabulary I know most deeply is that of Catholicism - it feels like my culture, my family, and my home. I also do things that some would consider witchcraft! This is the trickiness of words - to me, using herbs or crystals with candles and prayer is a ritual not dissimilar to a traditional Mass. Items can help us focus and conceptualize ineffable ideas, be they Holy Water and incense or crystals and herbs. They are all God's creations and I see no reason why they can't all be used as symbols to communicate with Him. For me, arranging herbs or crystals around a candle is a physical form of prayer. Some would call it a spell or an arts and crafts project or a meditative exercise. Words! Call it what you want, so long as you can understand the nuance of it and not outright dismiss it as wrong because of a certain translation of a certain word. We're here to look past the words and the items to what they point to: God, Love, Community, Presence.